Shockingly, I actually have lived up to my personal challenge to cook occasionally. Sure, the first thing I made in my kitchen was a batch of cookies. But after an epic night in with my lady-friends* in which I witnessed Tami and Mala bake fresh-made kale chips, I figured it looked like a process I might be able to repeat on my own. And one I wouldn’t have to call my mom three times during.**
If you’re wondering what a kale chip is, you’re in luck because I’m itching to tell people. Kale is a leafy green experience. It’s also notably tough, so be warned that if you ever order a kale salad, you’re in for a lot of chewing. This makes you feel like a savage humanoid, but it also takes a considerable amount of time to break down in your mouth which means you won’t be doing much chatting while you work on it. That said, kale salad is excellent with feta cheese. But I digress.
I knight thee Master of My Kitchen
Kale chips are simply a play on a salty, crunchy treat. They are leafy green bite-sized nibbles that have been salted and baked. For some reason when you bake kale it gets crispy and loses a bit of its toughness. As long as you don’t get too crazy with how much olive oil you use or how much salt you have a taste for, kale chips are one of the healthiest snacks on the block. And even I can make them without following a recipe. Here’s how:
1. Buy some kale. If you’re not sure what it is, ask your local produce gal. Stores like Whole Foods tend to carry this roughage, and it’s usually a farmer’s market staple.
2. Wash the kale.
3. Dry the kale. No, really. Dry it. I’m not even kidding. I know because the first two times I made kale chips, I didn’t dry the kale and the chips came out kind of limp and weird. Drying the kale helps increase the chippiness. It’s an extra step. It seems ridiculous. Just do it.
4. Break kale into bite size chunks. Because it’s so tough, it’s a bit of a finger workout. Yay exercise!
5. Put kale in a mound on a baking pan.
6. Drizzle olive oil over the kale. How much? Well, I hate to tell you this, but I have no idea. I have yet to get the formula correct. Too much makes it soggy in the end, so I recommend too little if you’re not sure.
7. Toss the kale in the olive oil with your hands and spread the pieces around the pan. This is really fun and feels a bit like finger painting for adults.
8. Drizzle salt over kale. Toss a little more. Once again, too much is TERRIBLE so please aim for too little. A few notes on salt: first, make sure you pour it into your hand prior to pouring it on the kale. This allows you to be in control of the amount of salt. Second, when you toss the oily, salty kale with your hands, you’re going to get a weird coat of crust all over your palms. Be sure a sink with soap is nearby.
9. Bake at 350. How long? Yeah, once again, I have no idea. I think “until crispy” is the only definitive answer. This takes about ten minutes in theory, but it seems to take longer in my world. I would definitely check up on your chips, and smell the air. When you can smell the kale, it’s probably done.
And now you know. Healthy treats for all!
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*What night isn’t epic with ladyfriends, really? Let me just say one word: tonsils.
** My poor mom gets questions like, “wait, what temperature do I cook brown butter at?” and “how do I know if the salmon is done?” and “oh my god, why won’t the lumps in this brownie dough go away?”
Whenever my kale is about to go bad I make this too. Pro tip: Add a little cayenne for spicy deliciousness.
Your pro tip is way too pro for me. I’m still trying to get my chips to be well…chip like. Getting them to crunch feels as challenging as getting a souffle to rise. I would so much rather be running!
Ooo! We should hold a kale chip party in which everyone makes their own version and we share. I feel like cumin might be a good spice, too.
Oh hey, I keep meaning to ask, are you hip to the roasting of other veggies too? As a snack or side dish, there are many other green leafy things that roast up nicely using the same basic method – bite-sized pieces get tossed in a little salt + olive oil, then roasted. Broccoli, brussels sprouts, you name it, it can be roasted. Even non-green veggies like carrots, mushrooms, tomatoes (cherry tomatoes are great), the list goes on. I like to roast my broccoli in olive oil, salt, pepper, lemon juice and a little freshly grated parmesan cheese. Brussels sprouts, halved, are great with the ol’ olive oil, salt, pepper and then a few drops of balsamic vinegar on each sprout as soon as you pull ‘em from the oven. So easy and yummy, by far my fave way to prepare veggies!
PS – Did you know that nutrients and minerals in many veggies are fat-soluble – meaning your body will absorb them better when you eat them with a little oil (or cheese, for that matter)? Just another reason why roasting greens this way is great! :)
Been dreaming about kale chips ever since last weekend… will seek out new veggies and new civilizations at the farmer’s market tomorrow… :)
“Because it’s so tough, it’s a bit of a finger workout. Yay exercise!”
It’s quotes like these that make me love you!
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